The Unexpected

Well its been awhile but here I sit once again and things are just not what I expect.I find myself drifting from those I thought I wanted to be close with, for one.So many nights wanting something more only to find myself doubting myself in the end. Why? I dont really know why maybe memories of what was possibly doubts of being to live up to expectaions or even fear of losing friendship in the end.
Another unecpeted event,an offer to move to back to ont but in a different city. The offer was the last thing I ever expected and it came out of left field and drilled right into me. The offer is great it all sounds so good but in my experience Ive found if its sounding good its ending horrible.this is something that I will be thinking long and hard about for some time to come,I cant afford to make any more wrong choices.Every thing about the situation just seems so perfect from my feelings about being in alberta to the people I miss so much I mean If I was back in ont I would stand such a better chance of seeing my children again, my family and my friends and as we all know my friends are my family and my family my friends. Ahh what to do if only there were a big bright neon sign that was like HEY YO SYNN THIS IS THE PATH YOU SHOULD TAKE!!!!! But unfortunatly life is not like that.Well lets hope some serious though will put me on the right path this time and I dont end up following my own footprints around a big circle in the snow!